Chapter Five

My last post got us through Saturday (more or less).  Well, Saturday afternoon or so I discovered a new pain.  This was a very sharp pain under my lower ribs on the right side.  It depended on how I moved, and never really went away, but was much sharper and more intense after a quick movement.  It was also more intense if I tried to breath deeply.  This did not seem to be affected by any of the known pain killers.  It did not let up much on Sunday, so I only stayed for the first part. By dinnertime I had taken enough pain killers to get me through a nice dinner with some friends.  However, Monday morning I was ready for the loony bin, or someplace equally pleasant.  I called the nurse in Dr. Grossmann's office and told her my troubles. She got me in to the acute care facility right away. We then went through a bunch of tests that assured me that I was ready for the radiation that I would be getting later that day or early Tuesday, and they decided to add that spot in my ribs to the treatment plan.  We also learned that this new pain was coming from a broken rib.  I don’t recall breaking a rib lately, but the Doctor said the bones are so full of lesions that she was not surprised.  They also gave me an IV dose of something pretty strong, because the rest of the day went pretty well.  I was aware of everything that was going on, but relatively pain-free.  

We then went to the appointment we had with Dr. Hitchcock to get fitted for the single treatment of radiation on each of three spots:  my right knee, my left hip, and the right lung/rib area.  The body art experts had a hay-day.  Boxes, circles, odd shaped figures here and there, but no tattoos.  Instead they taped little bee-bees in the places where on a better day they would have made a tattoo. If they explained the change, I did not catch it.  Just chalk it up to advances in medicine.  

Our interview with Dr. Hitchcock was more revealing than we expected.  We had read a copy of the PET scan report and thought we understood it.  But we were not quite prepared for Dr. Hitchcock’s seemingly off-hand comment that the liver is “riddled” with lesions, the lungs are completely lined with them, and the bones have been seriously compromised by all the little fellers that have come to stay.  She said that it was time for Hospice.  On our way home, I called my sister, Rosemary, who runs a Hospice facility, and asked for an appointment.  She would be at the house at 4:00 pm.  Kristin was going to come up about that time, and Kim had mentioned that she wanted to come see us, so it looked like they would be there when Rosemary explained about Hospice.  Not wanting any of the family to feel left out of what might turn out to be something important, we called the rest of the kids to let them know what was happening, and that they could come if they wanted.  All of this was happening on our 54^th wedding anniversary!   With both of us being quite private people our plans for the rest of the day had been to have a quiet evening at home.  That clearly was going to change with the meeting with Rosemary and who knows what else after that.  The meeting with Rosemary went well, and she explained all that Hospice could do for us, and how it all works.  The kids had some questions, and then Rosemary left.  Soon thereafter, LaRue and Kristin went over to pick up a walker and a wheelchair from my brother, but most of the other kids just hung around.  They were busy doing something, but I did not pay much attention; I was kind of tired.  By the time LaRue got back the dinner table was set in elegant fashion, and food was arriving from the Mandarin, which included LaRue’s favorite entrée, Almond chicken.  I have enjoyed the Five Taste Shrimp, as have others in the group.  To this was added some other stuff, including some Indian dishes that Karen had brought and we had a real feast.   Our quiet evening had turned into a mini-celebration.  They asked questions about how we met, and some of our early days together.  It was a really wonderful time.

Tuesday we did the radiation, and had our exit interview with Dr. Grossmann.   Again, he thought we have about 6 weeks and described the end state as just gradually slowing down, sleeping more, more and more pain accompanied by stronger and stronger pain killers until I just don’t wake up at some point.  That doesn’t sound like a bad way to go.  One can think of a lot worse. In the meantime, I expect that there will plenty of opportunity to visit with whomever comes our way.  I think the blogs will decrease; there won’t be any exciting tattooing or body art experiences to report.  Nor any cruises.  But any posted comments that need a reply will be responded to as best I can.  If you have difficulty posting a comment please let me know (geemj@geenet.org).  The settings are supposed to allow anyone who can read the blog to be able to post a comment . . . so if that is not happening, please send an e-mail.  You may need to log-in to your Google account, but it should work.

Now to go on with the week, Wednesday was New Year’s Day.   The kids planned a nice dinner, and they were all here, even Norman, who had come from Colorado.  We had a wonderful afternoon.  The highlight was when they gathered and we sang many songs.  It concluded with the girls singing a beautiful hymn that has come to mean a lot to me. 

There was not much to the rest of the week to report except for a meeting with my replacement in the Church office building.  This did not go very well.  I got quite tired, and had to cut things short, but I think I got his major questions answered.

This has been an interesting ride.  Thanks for coming along.  Know that I still am the kind of guy that looks forward rather than back. And I continue to do so.  So this has been difficult to try and share past events, even those in the very near past.  But I had promised to keep folks posted, and this seemed like the best way to do it. 

I have come to recognize the Lord’s hand in my life, and I know that He loves His children, which includes you as well as me.  I continue to feel the effect on my life of many prayers, and I deeply appreciate them.  Without them, I would not be here now.  The season we have just passed through has had a significant impact on my life.  I feel that I have come to understand the atonement of Christ a little better, and to recognize it as the most important event in the history of the world. A significant part of the atonement is the concept of agency with its twin offspring: choice and consequence.   I have also gained a deeper appreciation for the richness of the experiences the Lord provided for His children in the process of the creation of the world.  Just think about it: isn’t this a remarkable place?  Such variety! Such beauty! Such opportunity!  Yeah, I know that some of His bratty kids have tried to mess things up in every possible way, and have in part succeeded, but there is something we can do to help His work along, and one day things will be put right.  I pray that day comes sooner rather than later.

 I feel bad that many things I wanted to do will now go undone and I hate leaving behind my extraordinary wife, who has been with me through thick and thin, and who has made my whole adult life a wonderful experience.  She must now carry on alone.  I pray the Lord’s blessings and your prayers will be with her.  I also hate leaving my family and friends, but I admit that I am looking forward to Chapter 6.  I probably won’t be writing about it, however.